November 11, 2020, marked the darkest day of my life. After just five precious days with my beautiful baby girl, she passed away peacefully in her sleep. In my grief, alcohol became my escape—the only way I could cope with a world void of her presence while also enduring an abusive marriage that I desperately tried to escape. On top of that, I had my four-year-old son, who needed me now more than ever. He was a scared little boy who witnessed my suffering. I wanted to be there for him, yet I was terrified of forming a closer bond. Loving him deeper felt like it could amplify my anguish—making the loss of my daughter even more unbearable. In such a cruel world, I couldn't shake the fear that it might take him from me too.